he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize