Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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