LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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