He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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