I need help removing her.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize