I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
