THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
