ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
