I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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