This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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