just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
