no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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