Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
