we're blogging at a bar
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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