What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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