Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
