margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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