I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
