I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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