I smell stomach acid.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
