all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
