he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
