She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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