I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
