shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
