I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
