I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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