I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
