Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
