PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
