Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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