he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
