Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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