Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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