okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
