Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
