I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
