I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My ass is underappreciated
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize