walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
