i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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