Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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