let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
