if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
