Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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