4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
