I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
