just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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