She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Boobs are out for the taking
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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