No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
