did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
