Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
