Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
