dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
