we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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