My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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