the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
