WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
