I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
