I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
