12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
