It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
