just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
