I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
