Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
