Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
