don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize